Gourmet Veggie Mama

The last time

Although the “firsts” in raising a child are the most fun — first smiles, first steps, first words — the “lasts” can be important, too. After almost 17 months, Nora and I had what may well have been our first last recently: last nursing session.

She has been showing signs of being ready to wean for a while now. We’ve been down to only one nursing session for a couple of months, and she has been losing interest even in that. I initially intended to wean around her first birthday, but decided when we got there that neither one of us was quite ready yet. Now we are — both of us.

This is a bittersweet moment for me, especially considering the rough start we had with breastfeeding. I was so committed to nursing that it was my singular focus for the first couple of months of Nora’s life. She had issues learning how to latch, and she was so tiny that I worried constantly about her getting enough and gaining well (she did fine).

Once we got the latch issues and my oversupply sorted out, I briefly thought I might be dealing with undersupply (I’m pretty sure now that I wasn’t). Soon it was time to start throwing solid food into the mix, and then teeth started appearing — oh my! It was a constantly changing landscape, but finally, eventually, I felt like I was on top of it. And then, it was time to start thinking about weaning.

Don’t misunderstand me: I have not always loved breastfeeding. In fact, sometimes I downright hated it. There were times I ached to be finished with nursing and finally have my body back. Although it created a special bond between me and Nora, I sometimes resented that bond, because it meant she needed me (and only me) so much. All of that said, I’m so glad I stuck with it, because eventually it became the easiest, most natural thing. I’ll always remember the sweet, contented grin she’d give me when she was finished nursing — there’s nothing else quite like it!

“Bittersweet” is definitely the word for this feeling. It’s the beginning of her not needing me so much anymore. She’s a little less of a baby and a little more of a kid now. I know she is ready for this, but sometimes it takes Mama a little longer — kiddo is always one step ahead of me.

So, goodbye to my little baby, and hello to my little girl. I’ll miss our nursing relationship, but I can’t wait to see what the next chapter holds for us!

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10 Thoughts on “The last time

  1. I was SO sure you were linking up with The Lightning Bug, since their prompt for this week is “the last time”!!!

  2. Lauren on May 7, 2012 at 9:59 pm said:

    This is such a sweet, thoughtful post. I had the exact same emotions when I weaned my daughter. They grow up so damned fast.

    • Thanks for reading! They really do grow up so fast. Everyone says that, but you don’t really realize it until you have one of your own!

  3. Oh gosh I am sort of afraid when this day comes for us. So glad you wrote about it! They grow up so darn FAST.

    • They really do, don’t they? Honestly, I am totally fine with it now — not the least bit wistful. Those first couple of days were a little hard, though!

  4. Emma on May 10, 2012 at 12:53 am said:

    Yeah… it’s nice to have my body back to myself, but I do miss those tender moments. I just found the last bag of frozen breastmilk in the back of the freezer tonight and realized it needed using. I was surprised Annabel took it without so much as batting an eyelid – it’s been a while since she’s had “mama’s milk”!
    Make sure you don’t fall into the “stopped nursing but didn’t stop eating like I was nursing” trap that I did (with both kids, despite telling myself not to second time round!).

    • I think I already fell into that trap when she turned a year old and stopped nursing as much — hello extra 5 pounds! Hopefully there’s not more to come!

  5. Pingback: Snack monster no longer | Gourmet Veggie Mama

  6. Thank you for sharing Lauren. This is a beautiful tribute to a very special time in your life.

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