… I had a blog?
What happened? I went back to work, and part-time quickly turned into full-time, and full-time turned into all-consuming. I am experienced enough to know that with a start-up, it often does, and as the parent — and until very recently, the stay-at-home parent — of two very young children, I confess that I’m pretty conflicted about it. But, I love the work, and I love the company. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Except. In the midst of getting into my groove as a working mom, I seem to have lost my way as to pretty much everything else other than working and being a mom.
It’s nearly impossible to fit in exercise (although, YES, I certainly could make it work by sleeping less, but that is an unappealing proposition at the moment.
A back injury has made running complicated since last summer, and with work (and wanting to spend every free moment with my family), it has fallen by the wayside. I’ve gone for 2- or 3-mile jaunts here and there on the weekends with the family,* but nothing more serious. When I attempted to go on the 10-mile Moontower Run a couple of Fridays ago, I paid dearly for it — I could hardly walk for a few days after due to aggravating my back injury. I’m now in intensive physical therapy trying to get the injury repaired once and for all — this is for the birds!
*Now that Nora rides her bike, there no real need for the double stroller!
To complicate matters, eating healthily is a struggle, too. Due to my working hours and commute, I’m able to spend the mornings with the kiddos, but I’m rarely able to make it home by dinnertime, especially since Amelia vocally prefers to eat around 5:30. As a consequence, dinner has largely become a Daddy Project.** I basically haven’t cooked anything much more complicated than pancakes for months.*** Sometimes I skip dinner. Sometimes dinner is something from the microwave. It’s rarely up to the standards I had just a few months ago. Hell, I hardly ever have the inspiration to make a cocktail after a long day.
**Or one for the nanny, since he has been out of town a lot recently. Cue Extreme Mom Guilt.
***Actually, that’s not quite true; I did manage to produce a lovely vegetarian cassoulet a couple weeks ago, but it was over two days or so, and it was a pretty light time at work.
I need to do better. I have to get over the end-of-week exhaustion and start planning and prepping meals for the week. I need to drag out the crock pot again and dust off old recipes. I need to rely on others, but not entirely. I need to be involved in my family’s nutrition. I need to because it’s a part of who I am — and who I became in creating this blog.
So, this is my vow — I will get healthy again. I have obstacles to overcome, and things won’t always be ideal, but need to make a change. I’ll write about it here when I can, if you’re interested. Perhaps some new, make-ahead, crock pot or super-quick recipes will be in the works? Or chronicles on how we make it all work through (hopefull diligent) planning and prep work? Both, I hope. And I hope you’ll join me for the ride.
tl;dr: Being a working mom is hard. But, I need to stop just making it through the day and start carving out time for ME. Not just to relax, but to exercise and eat well. I have to do this for myself, and for my family. I’ll be writing about it here when I can.