Gourmet Veggie Mama

Tag Archives: Motherhood

I have a messy house

I have something to admit: My house is messy. I just thought you should know.

My darling neighbors were over playing with Nora yesterday, and, in that frantic space in the five minutes before dinner where everything is coming together and everyone wants your attention, I dropped something out of one of my cabinets. The four-year-old, being a four-year-old, pointed out that I had dropped it, and I, being a little short of patience right at that moment, might have responded a bit curtly.

“It’s okay,” she said. “It’s a messy house.”

Ouch.

The thing is, I spend a lot of time cooking, and running after a two-year-old (who doubles as a wrecking ball). But really, those are just excuses. I’d like to have a clean house — really, I would — but I like more to sit down for a few precious minutes at night before I crash in bed.

This has been making the rounds, and it is truth:

Pick Two

(I wish I knew where it originally came from, so I could give proper credit, but I pulled this from Momcom Life’s Facebook page.)

But, the thing is, it bothers me. Because I try to keep a clean house, but life gets in the way. I even have a cleaning schedule, for goodness’ sake! So, for a neighbor kid to catch me at the very messiest moment of the week and make a cutting observation… well, I won’t lie. It hurt. Even if she didn’t mean anything by it, it did.

I am going to take a moment to pat myself on the back, though. I am a good mom. I have a brilliant, sweet, beautiful daughter who gives me hugs and kisses (sometimes), has her alphabet down pat, is fully potty-trained and happy as a clam (usually). I make nutritious and delicious meals for my family nearly every night. I am starting a new career in a tough field and making a go of it (my first honest-to-goodness article in a print magazine is coming out soon!), and I have a wonderful, supportive husband with whom I am madly in love. But yeah, I am stretched a little thin at times.

I’m not perfect. I hope I never put forth the pretension that I am. I’d hate for anyone to think this is one of those glossy “lifestyle” blogs designed to make you feel bad about yourself. I really just like to write, I like to cook and I get a kick out of sharing recipes and stories with you lovely people. That’s it. And I have a messy house. Just thought you ought to know.

As your reward for reading my little sob story (that is, if you haven’t just skipped straight to the goods), please accept this delightful recipe for a fresh-from-the-garden early spring pasta.

fettuccine

I had spinach fettuccine in my pantry, plenty of chard and delicate broccoli crowns in my garden, and even a few baby leeks to add to the mix. I whipped up a quick creamy sauce to tie it all together, and voila! Just ignore the mess in my kitchen, please.

5.0 from 1 reviews
Spring Garden Fettuccine
Author: 
Recipe type: pasta
Serves: 4
 
Ingredients
  • 8 oz spinach fettuccine
  • 1 Tbsp olive oil
  • ½ cup broccoli crowns
  • 2-3 baby leeks (or 1 regular leek), sliced thinly (white and light green parts only)
  • 1 bunch chard, stems removed and reserved for another use*, roughly chopped
  • 1 Tbsp butter
  • 1 Tbsp flour
  • 1 cup cream or whole milk
  • ½ cup parmesan, grated, plus additional for serving
  • ½ tsp garlic powder
  • salt and pepper to taste
Instructions
  1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and cook the pasta until al dente. Drain, reserving ½ cup of the pasta water.
  2. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the leek and broccoli and stir for a couple of minutes, until beginning to soften. Add the chard to the pan and saute until wilted. Add a splash of the pasta water if the pan seems dry. Set aside.
  3. Melt the butter over medium heat in a small saucepan, and then add the flour, stirring until bubbly. Gradually add in the milk, stirring well to remove any lumps.
  4. Allow the mixture to simmer until it thickens slightly, and then turn off the heat and stir in the cheese. Add the garlic powder and season to taste with salt and pepper.
  5. Toss the pasta with the cream sauce and the chard-broccoli mixture, adding splashes of pasta water if needed. Taste and adjust seasoning. Serve topped with additional parmesan, if desired.
Notes
* I usually freeze mine and use them in a batch of vegetable stock. Hate to let all those good nutrients go to waste!

 

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The Peaceful Mom

Happy blogiversary to me!

It has been a year since my first post. How time flies! But, at the same time, it seems like I’ve been writing this blog forever. Funny, that’s just about how I felt on Nora’s first birthday. I simultaneously couldn’t believe she was already a year old, and felt like I had been her mommy forever and couldn’t imagine life without her.

Not that I’m likening my child to my blog… Well, maybe just a little bit. Taking care of both of them has become a labor of love. Nora, and writing about food and life with Nora and other miscellany, have both brought richer meaning to my life.

In honor of my first blogiversary, I am making a list, in no particular order, of my 10 favorite posts from the past year. Enjoy, and please let me know if you’ve tried any of the recipes out — I’m always looking for creative feedback.

1. Black bean burgers — finally!

I have to include this one, solely because it took so long to puzzle out what I think is the perfect recipe. Who needs frozen Gardenburgers when you’ve got these babies… and even quinoa burgers for a change of pace now and then.

2. 10 Easy Salad Ideas. This has been a really popular post, and I’m happy that people seem to have found inspiration for lunches here. Kudos to my friend Melissa for making a special request for this post, and for test-driving several of the recipes.

3. Pasta with Sun Gold tomatoes.

I don’t know what it is about this pasta, but it is just about my favorite tomato dish ever. The Sun Gold tomatoes (which grow like crazy in our back yard) have the sweetest, mildest flavor, and the sauce is so silky and delicious.

4. Grilled pizzas.

I’m psyched that my whole wheat dough came out well, and I love being creative with toppings. Grilled pizzas just may be my favorite meal!

5. Vanilla jasmine martini.Of all the drinks I’ve tried over the past year (and with Cocktail Thursday, there have been a lot!) this is my favorite. It’s such a lovely, elegant flavor.

6. Vegetarian cassoulet.

I just like that this is a classic dish, vegetarianized… and not in a way that leaves you missing the meat. I also love that it’s winter comfort food, and that it takes a long time (but most of it non-active time) to make.

7. On Choosing. I have to include this one for sentimental reasons. I spoke from the heart, and I’m glad that my daughter will someday be able to look back and know how I came to live this particular part of my life the way I have.

8. Pumpkin pancakes.

So good. Such excellent, excellent breakfast-y goodness. I can’t wait until it’s fall again.

9. Grown-up mac and cheese.

I am a noted mac-and-cheese enthusiast, and this is my favorite. It’s all grown up… and delicious. I have to mention, as an aside, that Nora has started asking for “mac” by name, at least a couple of times a day. She truly is my daughter.

10. Broccoli cheddar bites.

I haven’t made a batch of these in a while, but I really should. Nora loves them, and I love to sneak a couple off her plate, too! They’re super-simple, freezeable, and one of my most popular recipes.

It has been quite a year, and going back through these posts has really brought it all back. Thanks for coming on this journey with me, and here’s to more years to come!

The last time

Although the “firsts” in raising a child are the most fun — first smiles, first steps, first words — the “lasts” can be important, too. After almost 17 months, Nora and I had what may well have been our first last recently: last nursing session.

She has been showing signs of being ready to wean for a while now. We’ve been down to only one nursing session for a couple of months, and she has been losing interest even in that. I initially intended to wean around her first birthday, but decided when we got there that neither one of us was quite ready yet. Now we are — both of us.

This is a bittersweet moment for me, especially considering the rough start we had with breastfeeding. I was so committed to nursing that it was my singular focus for the first couple of months of Nora’s life. She had issues learning how to latch, and she was so tiny that I worried constantly about her getting enough and gaining well (she did fine).

Once we got the latch issues and my oversupply sorted out, I briefly thought I might be dealing with undersupply (I’m pretty sure now that I wasn’t). Soon it was time to start throwing solid food into the mix, and then teeth started appearing — oh my! It was a constantly changing landscape, but finally, eventually, I felt like I was on top of it. And then, it was time to start thinking about weaning.

Don’t misunderstand me: I have not always loved breastfeeding. In fact, sometimes I downright hated it. There were times I ached to be finished with nursing and finally have my body back. Although it created a special bond between me and Nora, I sometimes resented that bond, because it meant she needed me (and only me) so much. All of that said, I’m so glad I stuck with it, because eventually it became the easiest, most natural thing. I’ll always remember the sweet, contented grin she’d give me when she was finished nursing — there’s nothing else quite like it!

“Bittersweet” is definitely the word for this feeling. It’s the beginning of her not needing me so much anymore. She’s a little less of a baby and a little more of a kid now. I know she is ready for this, but sometimes it takes Mama a little longer — kiddo is always one step ahead of me.

So, goodbye to my little baby, and hello to my little girl. I’ll miss our nursing relationship, but I can’t wait to see what the next chapter holds for us!

Bringing home baby

One of the most terrifying days of my life was the day we brought Nora home from the hospital. After a day and a half of round-the-clock help with everything from diaper changes to nursing to swaddling, they were kicking us out the door and letting us be responsible for a tiny, fragile newborn. What were they thinking? Is that even legal?!

For reals.

Looking back, it wasn’t so hard, and we did fine, but I think those feelings are extremely common, no matter how much you’ve studied up on infant care before your little one arrives. Now that my sister-in-law is having a baby, due later this month, she asked me to put together a list of things we needed, besides the obvious, in those first few days.

I consider myself something of an expert on this topic, since Nora was a little early, and I did have to send the hubby out on an emergency trip or two to Target in the first couple of days. Here’s my cheat sheet.

  • Burp cloths, LOTS of them. More than you think you need. Prefolds work great for this, and they’re way cheaper than “real” burp cloths.
  • Something to swaddle the baby in. Aden + Anais blankets are great, but for the early, sleep-deprived days, a SwaddleMe is awesome because it’s pretty foolproof. You’ll want to have 3 or 4 of them around.
  • Receiving blankets. They are good for lots of stuff, even if you don’t swaddle with them. They double as burp cloths, mats for tummy time, etc. You’ll use them a lot.
  • Diapers. Get more than you think you’ll need. You know I love cloth, but I’d suggest disposables at first, at least until the meconium stage is over (ick). After that, if you’re going to cloth right away, you’ll probably want some newborn sizes to start with.
  • Yoga pants, nursing tanks, and hoodies. Trust me. These will be your uniform for the first couple of weeks, at least. You’ll feel like you are nursing constantly, and you’ll need something that’s comfy to sleep in when you can catch a little bit. These are my favorite nursing tanks ever.
  • Speaking of sleep, get something comfy and easy to nurse in for nighttime. Since Nora was a winter baby, I loved these pajamas (top with matching modal pants) from Gap Maternity. For warmer months, I love these camis, also from Gap Maternity. Either way, get a couple of good nursing sleep bras, since you’ll need them for the extra support (and to hold nursing pads in place) for the first little bit.
  • Pacifiers. You won’t want to use them right at first, until breastfeeding is established, but they can be really helpful if you have a baby with a strong need to suck and you don’t feel like serving as a human pacifier around the clock. These are the only really anatomically correct ones that won’t cause latch issues — my lactation consultant recommended them and was adamant about ONLY using this kind. Even if you don’t end up using them, if you need them, it’s nice to have a couple around just in case.
  • A breast pump. Even if you don’t plan on pumping, it can be a lifesaver for engorgement issues, or to give you a little break once you decide to introduce a bottle. If you don’t plan to pump a lot, start out with a manual one. If you are going back to work or otherwise plan to pump at least part-time, you may as well start out with a good double electric pump. I highly recommend the Medela Pump in Style Advanced, or the Lansinoh Affinity, which is a great pump at a lower price point (drawback: it is very noisy and not very portable).
  • A few different types of bottles. Again, you won’t want to start the bottle for the first couple of weeks, but, in my humble opinion, you need to start with it after about two weeks, or risk having a baby who won’t take a bottle (my worst nightmare). It can take a little while, and several different approaches, so have at least two or three types of bottles with slow flow nipples to try out. We went through three or four brands, but, for what it’s worth, Born Free is what we ended up using.
  • A couple of tubes of lanolin. Even if you don’t have latch issues, you will have at least somewhat sore nipples in the beginning, pretty much guaranteed. This is kinda like chapstick for your nipples — it promotes “moist healing” and helps them feel more comfortable.
  • Triple antibiotic. If you end up with a cracked nipple or any kind of open skin (let’s hope not!), you will need something a little stronger to heal quickly and prevent an inbound infection. This stuff was recommended to me by a lactation consultant and it is magic. You can go to a compound pharmacist, or save yourself some money and pick the ingredients up at any drug store and mix them yourself. Use roughly equal parts each of 1% hydrocortisone cream, bacitarin zinc (Polysporin), and antibiotic ointment (Neosporin or equivalent).
  • Nursing bras. I’d have at least 2 or 3 around. These are my favorites for the early days, since they are expandable, supportive, and comfortable.
  • Boba Wrap. Lots of people like the Moby Wrap, but baby needs to be 8 lbs to fit into it, and she didn’t hit that mark for a while! The Boba Wrap can be used right from birth. It was a lifesaver for us. Nora would sleep in it in the hammock hold when nothing else would work. Pat was also able to get her to sleep in it at night sometimes and then transfer her to the crib. I’d recommend learning how to tie it before the baby comes, since It’s hard at first, but super-easy once you get the hang of it. There are tons of YouTube videos to show you how.
  • White noise machine. We used an iPod and speakers (still do — is that weird?). It helps block out excess noise from the house while baby is sleeping and helps him sleep more soundly. In the early days, it helps to remind her of being in mama’s belly, where there was a lot more noise!
  • Plenty of nursing pads. You will leak, at least at first. It’s just a fact. Lansinoh are the best disposable ones, and EpiBi are awesome washable ones.
  • Maxi pads and pantiliners. Yeah, you’ll bleed, too. A lot at first (take the paper panties and maxi pads they give you at the hospital!), and a little for a while, probably. Have them around and you’ll save your significant other an embarrassing trip at some point.
  • Night light. It’s nice to be able to check in on your little one without switching on a lamp. Shockingly, we never thought about this!
  • Side snap or kimono-style Ts in newborn size. Until the umbilical cord falls off, you’ll want something that doesn’t rub on it. Get lots. You’ll do laundry often in the early days.
  • Onesies and sleep and plays in newborn size. I promise you your baby will not be wearing those cutesy outfits until you’re a little more settled in! You want something comfortable for sleeping and easy for changing diapers.
  • Laundry hamper. You’ll have plenty of baby laundry to do a load a day, I promise. Make it easy on yourself by having a hamper in his room.
  • Waterproof pads. This will save you from changing sheets in the middle of the night in case of a spit-up or diaper leak. Have a few washable ones on hand, and take some of the disposable ones from the hospital to stick in your diaper bag, too.
  • Frozen meals. Get easy stuff for lunches and stock your freezer with casseroles, soups, and other homemade goodies so you can eat well even when you don’t feel like cooking.

I hope this list is helpful to someone out there preparing for the arrival of a baby. Readers, please add anything I may have missed, since I’m sure there’s something!

10 things I learned in the first year of parenting

I’m feeling a little nostalgic lately. Going through baby clothes tends to have that effect on me. So, as Nora turns from a baby into a toddler,* I’m reflecting on the big lessons I learned during her first year.

*As much as I’d like to deny it, I can’t — she’s not really a baby anymore!

The learning curve as a new parent is huge. I thought I learned a ton during my first year as a lawyer, but this has been even more dramatic. I’ve boiled it down to a Top 10 list, and I’m betting most of these items will look familiar to those of you who are parents!

1. Everything changes. Babies grow and change so fast, it’s unbelievable. In the beginning, when you figure out some magic thing that always works to comfort your baby, it’s golden… and it lasts for a week, tops. Then you have to figure something else out. It gets a little better as time goes on, but the constant change is hard to wrap your mind around. You just have to go with the flow and keep changing, too.

2. It’s not that gross when it’s your kid. This could apply to any number of things: spit-up, poop, chewed food… I could go on. It’s still gross when someone else’s kid does it, but not yours. Okay, maybe it’s just not as gross, because sometimes it is a little icky. I cannot rationally explain why this is, but it’s a fact. It must be a biological thing.

3. They really are born with their own little personalities. It is amazing how early you can start to see the person your baby will grow into. I’ve said it before, but right from the first few weeks, the hubby and I both knew Nora was going to be stubborn and independent. The toddler years are bearing that out so far!

4. There are 3 things you can’t make a child do: eat, sleep, or be quiet. This one is courtesy of my friend Emma, who is wise in the ways of motherhood. It’s true. No matter how much you beg, plead, cajole, trick, ignore, or bribe, you cannot make your child eat. They have to want to, at least a little bit. Same thing with sleeping or being quiet — it just doesn’t happen. You just have to do what you can and then let it go.

5. You couldn’t have imagined how much you’d love them. It took me a few months to really feel the full force of my love for Nora. I loved her from the moment she was born, but it did take me a little while to fall head-over-heels in love with her. But, I did, and it’s a love people often try to describe, but I think it’s impossible to really understand until you are a parent.

6. You also couldn’t have imagined how much they’d annoy the crap out of you sometimes. It’s not all puppies and rainbows. Sometimes kids are a pain — it’s just a fact. Sometimes they’re whiny or stubborn and nothing you do helps, and you get frustrated with them. It happens to everyone. I ran across this post the other day, which I think describes it perfectly. Some days, it’s just about making it through until bedtime. That doesn’t make you a bad parent, and it doesn’t mean you love them any less. It’s just part of the deal. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about that.

7. You couldn’t have imagined how much your life would change. No matter how much (or how little) planning you did, you simply cannot imagine the magnitude of the change this tiny person will bring to your life. Everything is different. Your world revolves around a constantly changing, moody, adorable little person with entirely unreasonable expectations. But you’d never want it any other way.

8. Bumps and bruises go with the gig. Especially once you have a mobile child, a few injuries are unavoidable. That’s just how the learning process works. Of course, you try to prevent bad things from happening, but I think it’s important to give your child some room to explore on his own. That means his noggin might get bonked sometimes. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a bad parent. Not that that will stop you from feeling guilty.

9. Just because you have a good kid doesn’t mean you’re a good parent. I have an easy baby. She sleeps well, eats like a champ, (usually) travels well, and is almost always pleasant and good-natured. However, that’s just luck of the draw, with a little bit of genetics thrown in. I think you can make marginal improvements based on your parenting style, but, when all is said and done, they pretty much are who they are. I try not to take credit for Nora’s good behavior for fear that I’ll end up with a hellion if we have another child.

10. Kids are smarter than you think. Nora has had my number for a good while now… it just took me a long time to figure it out. She knows just how to manipulate me, and it’s hard not to play right into her hands, the tricky little one. Sometimes you have to view your child as… not the enemy, exactly, but rather a skilled adversary in a long game of chess. You always have to be on the lookout for a trap. Presumably it only gets worse as they get older.

The thing about parenting is, anyone can do it. It’s all based on instincts. No matter how much ink has been spilled on a particular subject, sometimes you have to lay down the parenting books and just go with your gut. Of course, that made the learning curve all the more frustrating for a Very Type A personality like me… but I survived it. Well, at least the first year of it! I’m sure there are plenty more adventures to come.

One year

Today is Nora’s first birthday. It has been one year since I first held a tiny, helpless baby in my arms.

Well, hello there!

Now she’s a strong-willed, beautiful, crazy, happy, frightfully smart toddler. I can’t believe how the time has flown.

It all happened so fast. She was early from the start (born at just over 37 weeks), and she has always been in a hurry. It’s amazing how fast she’s grown and changed. I loved her from the first moment I saw her, but it took me a while to really fall in love with her. It’s hard as a new mom to see beyond the squalling bundle of needs who comes home from the hospital with you to the little person she’ll become, but she’s in there.

Sleeping angel.

Right from the start, Nora was independent and stubborn. Pat and I each figured that out on our own within the first few weeks. I have no doubt we’ll see some epic temper tantrums in her toddlerhood. She is going to be a total badass, though. She already is. She’s absolutely fearless, and she doesn’t let anything stand in her way once she sets her mind to a goal.

Uncoincidentally, today is also my one-year anniversary as a mommy. What a year it has been! I barely knew how to change a diaper when we brought her home from the hospital, but now I can not only change a diaper, I can do it one-handed while distracting a wiggly baby, singing songs and letting her pull my hair.* We’ve been through sleepless nights, breastfeeding challenges of various sorts, nap wars, sleep training, starting solids, sleeping through the night (hurrah!), cutting teeth, learning to crawl, learning to walk, learning to climb (beer me strength), first words, and so much more.

* Then I can even wash the diaper, dry it, stuff it, fold it and use it again! Hurray for cloth!

I never knew I’d love her so fiercely. It took me by surprise. Once I couldn’t imagine my life with a child, but now I can’t imagine my life without her. It’s impossible to describe how much Nora has transformed my life. I’m still the same person, sure, but there’s a whole new dimension to me.

So much love.

Before Nora, when I wasn’t working hard, I was playing hard — running, cycling, or traveling the world on adventurous trips. Those days are over (for now), but I don’t miss them too much because I know they’ll be back someday, in some form. I’m still plenty busy now, and my life has lots of adventure in it — it’s just a different sort of adventure.

Yep, she TP'ed me while I was in the shower.

When Nora toddles up to me, leans in and presses her forehead against mine, and gives me a big grin, I melt. There is nothing – nothing – quite like it. And I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

So happy birthday to my sweet little girl. You may not really be my baby anymore, but you’ll always be a part of me, and I’ll always be a (little) part of you. I can’t wait to watch you grow!

Thankful

I love Thanksgiving. It’s such a pure, joyful holiday, and everyone in our country celebrates it, unless they’re a real curmudgeon. It’s not marred by gifts or commercialism — it’s just about being thankful, and eating a feast of fantastic fall food.* What could be better?

*Unintentional alliteration, woo!

I am so thankful this year. I am thankful for this time I have to devote to my little family — that I’m able to really relish it and appreciate it. I am thankful for a bright, bubbly, energetic, beautiful, often infuriating, and spirited daughter who is about to turn one. I am thankful for a devoted and caring husband who is also an amazing father. I am thankful for so much I can’t even name it all, but those are the biggies. Sometimes it’s good just to take time out to appreciate what you have, and that’s why I love Thanksgiving.

Since it is cocktail Thursday, even if it is an extra-special Thursday, I have the perfect Thanksgiving cocktail to share: mulled wine sangria.

Happy Thanksgiving!

This would be great as a pre-dinner drink, since it’s autumnal, and not too strong (which is helpful in preventing those tipsy dinner table debates). Enjoy!

Mulled Wine Sangria
Adapted from this recipe

1 (750 mL) bottle merlot or other red wine, chilled and divided
1/3 cup brown sugar
2 tsp whole allspice
1/4 tsp whole cloves
1 (3-inch) cinnamon stick, broken in half
1 (3 x 1 inch) strip orange rind
1/2 cup fresh orange juice (from one large orange)
1/2 orange, thinly sliced and cut in half
club soda

Place allspice, cloves, cinnamon, and orange rind in cheesecloth and tie securely into a sachet. Combine 1 cup wine, brown sugar, and sachet in a small saucepan and bring to a simmer. Cook 5 minutes.

Remove from heat and cool. Discard sachet and pour mixture into a pitcher, and add remaining 3 cups wine. Chill thoroughly. Add juice and orange slices. Pour into glasses and top off with club soda.

On choosing

I am a stay-at-home mom. It’s taken me a long time to own that, as a pretty career-oriented person, but I do. I still tend to add “for now” at the end, because it feels a little too — I don’t know, something — to actually say this is my vocation.

In a lot of ways, it feels like life just pushed me down this path. I spectacularly burned out in my career and took a leave of absence around the time I got pregnant.* I could write a book about what happened, but, in the interest of not boring you to death, let’s just say I was stressed out to the max and needed some time to clear my head.

*Coincidence? Maybe, maybe not.

Once the dust had settled, I realized that I did not want to be a lawyer anymore, or at least not a corporate lawyer at a big firm.** With a baby on the way, I was entering a new phase of life, and I wanted to be there for my child’s first years. I had seen how hard it was to balance such a demanding job and a young family for the people in my field who did it, and I just didn’t want that to be my life.

**It’s kind of sad that it took me more than five years and a near-nervous breakdown to see that, when it is so obvious in retrospect.

What I hadn’t figured out (and still haven’t, really), is what I do want to be. Well, assuming lady of leisure is not a viable option, that is. So, naturally, I fell into being a stay-at-home mom. At first I figured I would take the first year off and then go back part-time, you know, once I figured out what I want to be when I grow up. But, here we are, Nora is almost a year old, and I am just having too darn much fun with her to think about starting a new career.

Even though it feels like I just fell into it, staying at home with her is a choice. It’s not a one-time choice, though — it’s something I’m choosing every single day. I have had several offers recently, some of them very attractive, and one in particular that would have made me positively swoon in my pre-Nora days, but, after a lot of soul-searching, I said no, and I haven’t looked back. One day, I may (and probably will) make a different choice, but for now, I feel good about what I’m doing with my life.

A good friend of mine tells me she believes in “seasons of life.” I really like that philosophy. I think my generation is so wrapped up in the elusive concept of “having it all” that we don’t realize we don’t necessarily have to have it all right now. Sometimes it’s good to stop and take stock of what is important in your life now, and focus on that, however you can. For me, there will be a time to build a new career, but that time is not right now. Uhh… once I figure out what I’m going to do, that is.

I don’t take having such a choice for granted. I know there are a lot of people out there who don’t have the option of not working. For a long time, I felt like I wouldn’t have the option, but, as it turns out, everything is relative. Sure, we’ve scaled back now that we only have one income.*** Some of that was just natural, though — having a baby means you don’t get to go out to fancy, expensive dinners quite so often. But a lot of it was just adjusting my expectations.

***Let’s not talk about whether we have been able to stick to the newly reduced wine budget once since we set it.

For me, it’s worth it, though. If I had a career I was passionate about, my choice probably would have been different, and I have nothing but respect for people who choose to continue working after having kids. In fact, I’m in awe of people who manage to even halfway hold it together with both a demanding job and a small child (or children!). It’s hard enough just to manage the first year of parenthood without a full-time job to contend with.

As it is now, staying at home is a win-win situation for me. Instead of working my arse off in a thankless job and very likely feeling like I was failing both at work and at home, I get to take time out to get my head on straight, enjoy my baby girl’s first years, and get re-acquainted with myself in the bargain. Sure, it’s no picnic being a stay-at-home mom some days, and this gig comes with plenty of its own unique issues, but it’s better on its worst day than my old job, mainly because of the simple rewards it comes with.

Fun times with the wee one.

So, I’ve chosen to be a stay-at-home mom… for now. And I’m loving it.

Twitchy Thursday

Yeah, I don’t have a new cocktail for tonight. I could probably use a cocktail, though. I’m feeling a little twitchy. Tapering for a half marathon is nowhere near as bad as a marathon taper, but I do have a wee bit of the old taper madness.

Exhibit A: I can’t stop eating Halloween candy. I have an insatiable sweet tooth right now, and with no other viable options in the house, I have been tearing into the stuff I had stashed back for trick-or-treaters. Sorry kids. No Reese’s cups left.

Exhibit B: I am obsessed with logistics. What will I wear? What if my ponytail holder breaks? I forgot to pack Body Glide! I need to wash my water bottles! Do I have Luna Moons? What about breakfast?

Yeah, so that leads to obsessing about baby logistics, too. Will she be awake when I need to leave in the morning? The race starts at 7:15, and she’s usually up between 6:15 and 6:45, so it’s anybody’s guess. Will I be able to nurse her, or will I need to pump, because, frankly, there is no way I’m running with full boobs — ouch! Will she nap well while we’re traveling (the smart money says no). Pleeeeeease tell me she’ll still sleep through the night.

I have an admitted tendency to obsess over Nora’s schedule. It drives my husband crazy. I see myself as Protector of the Schedule, and yes, that is a proper title. I know that a weekend trip is an extraordinary occasion, and I should just try to go with the flow, but, hello, I am not really a “go with the flow” kind of person. Nora does so well when she keeps to her regular two-nap schedule, and I’m always afraid all hell will break loose if I mess with it and she’ll never sleep again. Aaaaaaaaugh.

It will be okay. We will survive the weekend. I’ll run the half marathon for which I have been training for weeks. I may not PR, but I’ll do fine. And we will all be okay.

Vacation takes on a whole new meaning when you have a kid, doesn’t it?

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